Posts Tagged ‘fat’
William had just returned from college, resplendent in peg-top trousers, silk hosiery, a fancy waistcoat, and a necktie that spoke for itself. He entered the library where his father was reading. The old gentleman looked up and surveyed his son. The longer he looked, the more disgusted he became. “Son,” he finally blurted out, “you [...]
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can’t look that old? Well, if you have then you’ll love this one. My name is Alice and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on [...]
One year, when the youngsters of a certain Illinois village met for the purpose of electing a captain of their baseball team for the coming season, it appeared that there were an excessive number of candidates for the post, with more than the usual wrangling. Youngster after youngster presented his qualifications for the post; and [...]
1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3. If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7) 4. Sharks are ugly and mean, [...]
There was once a chap who went skating too early and all of a sudden that afternoon loud cries for help began to echo among the bleak hills that surrounded the skating pond. A farmer, cobbling his boots before his kitchen fire heard the shouts and yells, and ran to the pond at break-neck speed. [...]
On a pleasant Sunday afternoon an old German and his youngest son were seated in the village inn. The father had partaken liberally of the home-brewed beer, and was warning his son against the evils of intemperance. “Never drink too much, my son. A gentleman stops when he has enough. To be drunk is a [...]
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people’s. A grandfather is a man grandmother. Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they [...]
Buying a horse Lil’ Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses’ legs, rump and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Pop, why are you doing that?” “Because I’m buying horses. I have to make sure [...]
Glass of Water One night a father sent his son upstairs to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, ”Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!” ”No. You had your chance. Be quiet and go to sleep.” A minute later the boy screamed, ”Dad!! Can you PLEASE get me a glass of water?” [...]
There was once a chap who went skating too early and all of a sudden that afternoon loud cries for help began to echo among the bleak hills that surrounded the skating pond. A farmer, cobbling his boots before his kitchen fire heard the shouts and yells, and ran to the pond at break-neck speed. [...]
