Humor and Laughing out loud jokes

Some of the funniest animal videos shown on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”

How much can one little pooch pee?

Wow!!! That was some catch.

Motorist are not happy as they pass by this unknown man. In the end, he’s not happy either.

You really think I could do such a thing?

Image by LisaAuch Come on now. Get real! The cat did it.

A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

The barman refuses to serve him.

“Why not,” asks the golf club.

“You’ll be driving later,” replies the bartender.

A guy’s going on a business trip and he has to take his secretary with him, and she’s really crazy about him. The first night on the Amtrak, she’s in the top bunk and he’s in the bottom bunk. She says, “Mr. Forsythe! Mr. Forsythe! I’m chilly! I think I need a blanket!”

He says, “Miss Schmitt, how’d you like to pretend you’re Mrs. Forsythe for a little while?

She says, “Oh, I’d like that.”

He says, “Then get you own damn blanket.”

After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, “Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?” The flattered husband said, “No, dear they haven’t.” The wife yells, “Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?”

Pick me! Pick Me! Some seem to be saying.

 

Which one would you want to take home. I like the one napping behind the toilet, but then I like them all. 

With this alarm clock, you need to get up before the alarm goes off.

 

If Mean People Breed Little Mean People

Image by sameold2010 What do little mean people  breed?

What’s the difference between men and women? Women must play hard to get; men must get hard to play!

A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, “You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years.” The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, “What are your two words?” “Food cold!” the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said “What are your two words?” “Robe dirty!” the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, “What are